I’ve been praying and asking God lately to show me who He is, and you know what His response was? He called me to worship. Not just singing songs in church, but truly focusing on Him and lifting Him up from the heart.
I tell you what; since I’ve been worshiping privately I’ve had more peace in my life and have been more grateful in my prayers. But here’s what I learned about Him in the process.
1. He loves me. Now, as a Christian I know that’s a fundamental truth, but knowing it and KNOWING it are two different things. I can know it academically, but that doesn’t change me. But if I know it–if I believe it–it changes me.
2. This is an offshoot of #1. I came to realize that subconsciously I view Him as a grumpy God who watches over me to make sure I don’t do anything wrong. Sure, He calls us to strive for perfection, but He’s also a joyous God who likes to be with me. He smiles. Is this news to anyone else?
3. Sometimes He calls us to be solemn in His presence, but sometimes He calls us to dance and shout. On Monday when I started making a true effort to worship, I was kneeling on my floor in tears. On Tuesday I couldn’t concentrate enough to sit still. It was like He was telling me to dance and sing. On Wednesday in church we had a moment when the Spanish pastor of our church was praying. He started praying in Spanish; I speak English. Yet I found my head bowing lower and lower . . . my spirit knew this was a moment of absolute reverence.
So there you have it. Those are my brief thoughts on worship. I find it interesting that God answered my prayer to know Him more by calling me to worship Him. At first it doesn’t seem like the answer to the question, but not only is it the answer to that question but to questions I didn’t even know I had.