A lot of times when I am following what God has told me to do, I feel like it will be easy or it will be successful. That’s not necessarily the case. Just because you’re obedient, doesn’t mean you’re not going to fail. For example, when Jesus sent out the disciples in Matt. 10, He told them what to do if people didn’t accept their message. In fact, He was up front with them and told them that they would be persecuted and arrested. Obedience didn’t keep them from getting hurt.
So when I started on this Graphic Novel project, I had to remind myself that it wasn’t going to be easy and it may not be successful.
I started out well, the first few pages were beautiful, and I was pleased that I was able to draw a decent ruined Jelu. But then came pages 8 and 9. I guess part of it was that I wasn’t feeling well, but my drawing that day was awful! AWFUL! Later that day I went back to it, and I was appalled. Every panel had something I had to fix, and one panel had to be completely redrawn from scratch. All my old insecurities flooded back to me: What am I doing? Why am I trying to do this? I can’t do this.
I was obedient, but not successful.
But instead of giving up . . . with all my insecurities ringing in my ears . . . I prayed for strength and ability, sucked it up, and tried again. My redrawn sections were much better. Not perfect, but my best. And no, I still can’t draw a speeder. Though I tried. I imagine that when I get better at drawing, I’ll come back and redraw what I have right now. But what I have will have to do.
So I’ve moved forward. I’ve finished penciling the first 11 pages of the GN–that’s Chapter 1. Next week comes inking.
On a more positive note, I got me a dip pen set. And I LOVE it. I drew and inked the GN’s cover for practice, and it’s the first time I’ve ever liked my line art. Oh, those crisp, beautiful, black lines! I love them. I also got my proof copy for Celebrity Dish so I’ll be working on that too.
Anyway, that is all.
-:heart: M.R. Anglin