A few weeks ago I posted on “Obedience in All Things.” I attempted to be real and talk about an area where I had failed. Well, I am making progress on doing those three things I referred to—the three things that I had neglected for so long. But now here comes the test of that resolve.
One of the things that I had neglected was working on my drawing skills. I’ve never described myself as an artist. I’ve always said, I am a writer who draws, nothing more. Truth is, I had given in to comparing myself to others who have much more talent than I do . . . people I can never hope to catch up to. In essence, I ignored God’s command to use His gifts for His glory. Instead I thought to myself, “There are much better artists than me out there, so let them handle it. After all, the Church is one body, right? We’re supposed to encourage and support one another. They can do the art, and I can do the writing. Win-win.”
Sometimes the greatest lies are near-truths.
While it’s true that the Church is all one body and we are called to help and support each other, nowhere does that give us license to neglect whatever gifts God has given us. Five talents or one—He decides who gets what, and I have no right to call what I have “not good enough.”
So anyway, I’ve been drawing again, and I’ve made progress. Now here comes the test: I feel God is leading me to draw my series, Silver Foxes in comic format.
My usual excuses disappear in light of the things I’ve learned over the last few weeks. “I’m not good enough”—no excuse. “I can’t draw it as well as so an so” —no excuse. “No one will read it”—no excuse. “It’ll be a downgrade in quality to what people have seen on my book covers before”—no excuse. “So and so can do a much better job than I can”—no excuse. “But I’m not good at comics”—no excuse. All I can do is my best to God’s glory. Anything less is not good enough.
No excuses, Mich.
I am scared stiff as I write this. Tears are coming to my eyes as I reflect on the magnitude of the project and the insecurities I will face and am facing right now. But obedience knows no fear—or rather fear and obedience have nothing to do with each other. I may fear, but I am committing myself to being obedient. The project may end up failing, but I will push forward.
To prepare myself, I’ve been working on a short, wordless comic featuring Max and Celeste. It’ll help me familiarize myself with how best to ink and draw backgrounds and such. It’ll also help me learn my photo editing software, and it will be an introduction into toning. (I thought about making it in color because color hides drawing mistakes, but I don’t want to hide my flaws in this case. I want to expose them in order to learn how to fix them).
This will also be an opportunity to revise Silver Foxes Vol 1. Let’s be honest, that one is not my best work. It was at the time, but now . . . I cringe. I haven’t read it since I released it in book format because I don’t want to face it. But once I let myself believe that maybe I can be my own artist after all, so many ideas on how to fix it flowed into my mind.
You probably won’t hear much about this for a year or so . . . (maybe sooner, who knows?), but I plan to keep working on it behind the scenes. In the meantime, pray for me and keep me in your thoughts. I’ll be moving forward with fear and trembling.
-:heart: M.R. Anglin